The buildings of this city float at night.

It's been a terrible two weeks, relationship-wise, but in other areas, I'm doing fine.  A refreshing hint of self-actualization has managed to intermingle with my disgust of codependent behavior; he must hate this new person, but I'm glad to feel like myself again.

I went home for a week.  It always happens that I lose interest in my 'other' life when I'm back there, so I tried very hard to focus on him and remind myself that he is significant.  We have our own monumental collections of insecurities, which makes me think it probably isn't a good time for either of us to make any life-changing relational moves like falling in love or moving in together or anything like that.

Arkansas was ridiculously beautiful last week.  Everything was lush and green and magical and I was very, very high.  I trained my sisters in the stealing arts, caught up with old boyfriends and contracted another desperate hunger for making children's books.  Then, when I returned to California, I had a difficult time adjusting.  I spent an entire evening in the cold sand, crying as the sun set and wondering how many more bad decisions I will make with my future.

Many wasted days have passed and I am extraordinarily lazy and hungover at 2 p.m. on a Sunday.  

I wish my sisters were here.  I miss 'em.