He asked, "have you forgotten?"
And I said, "yes, Dad, I have forgotten."
I was being sarcastic when I put the words together, but when they echoed through the kitchen, I had to wonder: have I forgotten?
No sooner than the winter air turned my hands to ice, was I inside with a heater, the memory of the cold erased.
Faster than I could finish my first drink, I was onto a second and then a third, losing recollection of how many I'd had.
The amount of time it has taken to move a few steps forward is suddenly clouded by all the miles I've regressed since then, and I think it's obvious that when I'm incapable of feeling the bumps along the road, it's because I've forgotten they were ever even there.
One night, twelve of us were crowded on the floor of her apartment. They said they liked when I was around because that way they could practice their English. Everyone was sharing stories and eating pudding, but the longer I sat with my arms wrapped around my legs, the more i wanted to close my eyes and think of something else. Each time I go away, I forget how hard it is to be gone.
Each time I come home, I forget how cold it is out there.
I was always the first to say I'd forget about this place, although the last place on earth I thought I would be is the place where I am the most comfortable.
My hands are tied. I'd like to pretend I'm enslaved to the rope around my wrists, this binding affliction that disables me from breaking free; but really I tied myself up because I wanted to be bound.
I've done this to myself. I have to get out of town.
I was being sarcastic when I put the words together, but when they echoed through the kitchen, I had to wonder: have I forgotten?
No sooner than the winter air turned my hands to ice, was I inside with a heater, the memory of the cold erased.
Faster than I could finish my first drink, I was onto a second and then a third, losing recollection of how many I'd had.
The amount of time it has taken to move a few steps forward is suddenly clouded by all the miles I've regressed since then, and I think it's obvious that when I'm incapable of feeling the bumps along the road, it's because I've forgotten they were ever even there.
One night, twelve of us were crowded on the floor of her apartment. They said they liked when I was around because that way they could practice their English. Everyone was sharing stories and eating pudding, but the longer I sat with my arms wrapped around my legs, the more i wanted to close my eyes and think of something else. Each time I go away, I forget how hard it is to be gone.
Each time I come home, I forget how cold it is out there.
I was always the first to say I'd forget about this place, although the last place on earth I thought I would be is the place where I am the most comfortable.
My hands are tied. I'd like to pretend I'm enslaved to the rope around my wrists, this binding affliction that disables me from breaking free; but really I tied myself up because I wanted to be bound.
I've done this to myself. I have to get out of town.
No comments:
Post a Comment